Balancing descriptive Sensory Details in stories... and what do we use our electricity for?
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BY: Dana Birkmour Editing a draft is such a different mental gear to 'drafting' a draft. To get a story through all its story-beats and hit the finish line with the central plot, I really have to turn off my internal editor. Then, once I reach the first "the End" of the plot line, turn that internal critic back on, and start picking apart the details... from 1000 different angles! One of those angles -- a particular focus for today's editng-- was the balance of how much sensory detail to add or remove from scenes. For most humans with standard vision, how things LOOK is the main detail we rely on to interpret the world around us. But really immersing in a story means we want to have a bit more of those other details too. This is one of the many places in which books have advantages over TV and Film, as well, so paying attention and weaving in the way things smell and feel is a very important part of an edit.
But, you also don't want to go around the whole time describing the smell of every little thing. So how much is right? Well, there's no real one-size fits all answer for what's "right" for a novel. My husband --often the first beta-reader of scenes i draft -- usually wants more detailed description of how everything looks, so he can visualise it clearly. I'm a much less visual person, so this is something that is under-written in my first drafts. When I read books that spend a lot of time describing everything visually, I tend to start to skip ahead and ignoring big chunks of text as 'going on' about stuff i just don't care about. But smell and touch are much more important to me, and i want these well integrated into scenes to help me immerse in the story. Some of my favourite scenes from other people's work are so immersed in the sensory details, that my husband finds them over the top. So much so that they throw him out of the story.
All of this is beside the point of why I've put aside edits to write this little blog post. That is, I think I've found the answer, ... or at least, a way to justify my position to my husband at least: What we do with our electricity usage! Hear me out:
The first use of Electricity in homes was lighting. Electric lighting came first up, and it changed everything for post-industrial society! We could see clearly after dark, and get up to all sorts of extra productivity in, instead of toddling off to sleep with our blankies pulled up under our chin already!
BUT THEN... what do we use electricity for now? Where we live here in Northern Australia, our main energy usage is cooling. Airconditioners run all day to take the touch of a thousand sticky little grabby-grabby hands of humidity on your skin away. Even in colder climates we're still using more electricity for cooling (fridges and freezers) than lighting since LED bulbs came into use.
But, even in this hot, tropical location, our next biggest use of electricity is heating too! Hot water tanks are the next biggest usage of electricity. That isn't just about getting the greasy feeling of your dinner dishes more effectively, either. Most hot water also goes into those lovely, luxurious moments of sensory pleasure that help us transition from busy-time to rest: Hot Showers.
So, in summary: I think I'll keep spending a bit more of my descriptive writing word-count on sensory details... even as I keep on making sure I've got sufficient of visual descriptions worked into the edits there too!
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